Write Me a Love Scene
by ICarryYourHeart16
Summary: The Booth Express June challenge, involving horrible sexual euphamisms, drunken writing, and a little fluff to top it all off.


June's Theme is Sex

We had to use certain phrases in our stories, they are the following;

His beautiful schlong

Her hot pink love canal

The throbbing spasm in her hootchie

His throbbing manhood

The sonic red boinkwurst at his groin

His flame licked her like jalepeno bath oil

* * *

Brennan doubled over in a fit of giggles as Angela twirled around on the coffee table.

"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me!" Angela sang, horribly off key.

Angela jumped off the coffee table and lost her balance, falling with a thump and more drunken laughter.

"Sweetie, we were not supposed to get this drunk."

Brennan snickered then suddenly became dead serious.

"That statement was not at all funny."

Angela lay back on the carpet of Brennan's apartment.

"That's the beauty of intoxication."

Angela's cell phone rang and both women burst into a fit of giggles.

"Hello?" Angela said after she had reasonably calmed down.

Brennan watched, enjoying the buzz of the many, many margarita's they'd consumed.

"Jack's coming to pick me up."

Brennan bit her lip, trying but failing not to laugh.

* * *

That was how Hodgins found them, his proper boss laying limbs akimbo on the couch, laughing drunkenly and his fiancée on the floor with a goofy grin on her face. He grinned at Dr. Brennan and hefted the willow thin Angela off the floor.

"Nice seeing you doctor Brennan, I'll just take my future wife and be on my way."

Brennan waved him off and wove drunkenly after him to lock the door. An envelope caught her eyes as she went towards her bedroom. It was another letter from her publisher, reminding her that she needed to work on her book. Brennan gasped melodramatically and ran, tripping and stumbling to her bedroom where her cell phone was charging.

"Booth!" She yelled loudly into the phone.

There was no response. She looked at the screen, she'd forgotten to dial his number. Her second try was a success and she waited until he answered.

"Hey Bones."

"Hey… How did you know it was me?"

"Caller ID, are you drunk?"

Brennan snorted.

"Yeah…"

Booth chuckled on the other side.

"This is all Angela's fault isn't it? Do you need me to pick you up?"

Brennan shook her head even though he couldn't see her.

"That will not be necessary, I am at home."

"Okay, then why did you call me?"

"I'm not sure."

Booth grinned, "Sweets would have a whole lot to say about that."

Brennan gasped,

"Sweets! I need to write my book!"

"That was really random Bones, maybe you should go lie down."

A dial tone buzzed in his ears. He sighed and turned back to his paperwork. The smile stayed on his face.

* * *

Brennan turned her computer on and shook her fuzzy head. She needed water to flush the alcohol from her system. As the computer turned on she downed the glass of ice cold water and started typing in a frenzy. Drunk or not, she could still work. The words filled the screen but she was unaware of what she had written and that strange drunken sense of humor was coming back. She guffawed at the ideas spilling into her head and copied them to the computer, swiping at the stray hairs that insisted on falling in front of her face. Slowly her vision began to swim and she put her head down on her arms, just to make the spinning stop, she assured herself.

* * *

Booth knocked on Brennan's door and found no answer. He should leave, she was probably asleep, but he'd seen the light shining in her apartment from the street so he pulled out the key to her apartment and strode in. He found her slumped at her desk, the light from her computer casting a blue glow over her. He shut the door quietly and walked over, to her.

"Hey Bones, wake up." She didn't stir. He glanced over at her screen and smiled at the pictures on her screen saver. Her and the squints at Christmas, her father and brother with his fiancée and the two girls, and a picture of her mother and father back when they were both still alive. He was surprised when the next picture revealed the two of them, sitting together and laughing at the FBI Christmas party, he couldn't remember the photographer but the captured moment made him smile. He accidentally bumped the table and the screensaver disappeared, revealing what she had been writing in the half-hour since she had called him.

_Andy grabbed Kathy's arm and tugged her back to him. _

"_I want you Kathy, and you want me, there's no denying that." _

Booth's grin widened. So that's how all those dirty scene's came to be, it seemed all Bones needed was a little liquor to bring out the romance maven in her.

He turned his attention back to the screen.

_"Andy, we can't, there's a line." _

Booth wrinkled his nose, was she mocking him?

_The throbbing spasm in her hootchie said otherwise but Kathy wouldn't be hurt again._

Booth had to cover his mouth to keep from waking his partner. Hootchie? What it the world had come over her?

_Andy brought his mouth to hers, exploring the depths as she felt her body yield to his and the answering call in her loins as his throbbing manhood pressed against her._

"_Andy!" She yelled in ecstasy as he brought her over the first shimmering peak of pleasure. She pulled his pants down and was rewarded with the sight of his sonic red boinkwurst. _

Booth doubled over in silent laughter, imagining her face when she read what she had written.

_Her moans got louder as his beautiful schlong filled her hot pink love canal. Wd89h f odsc8 jnfdvkg his bs? Gkbn ku fgud BPKLuo klbjpivhn uipo._

_His flame licked her like jalepeno bath oil. _

Well it was obvious she'd fallen asleep on her keyboard then woken with a start to type that last phrase he couldn't even begin to understand. This time his snorts and snickers weren't as quiet as before and Brennan woke with a start.

"Booth?"

He bit his lip to hide the smile.

"Hey Bones, you don't look so good. How about we get you to bed?"

Her smile was warm.

"Hi"

Booth couldn't help but be charmed by her. He stood over her and scooped her up.

"I'm going to leave the dressing part to you."

She sighed contentedly and lay her head on his shoulder. Booth brushed his lips over her hair, deciding that he'd think about that and the fact that he was ridiculously in love with this woman later. Her sheets were tucked in and not a stray wrinkle could be found on her bed. He set her on her feet and opened her bed then turned to her. He froze when she slid her hands over his face.

"Bones."

She pressed her lips lightly to his, framing his face with her hands.

"I'm very attracted to you right now."

Booth groaned.

"You really shouldn't tell me that."

Brennan cocked her head.

"Why?"

Booth scrubbed his hands over his face.

"Because it makes me want to do a lot more than kiss you, Bones."

He slid his hands up her arms and brought her close, kissing her gently with tenderness that surprised them both.

"I won't mind if you do more than kiss me."

Booth laughed, resting his forehead on hers.

"Who knew the prim and proper Dr. Temperance Brennan got weird and horny when she was drunk?"

Her laughter joined his and she sat on her bed.

"There's a good chance I won't remember a lot of this tomorrow, short term memory loss is another of intoxication's blessings."

Booth smiled,

"I figured."

Her face suddenly turned serious.

"I hope I do though, I hope I remember how happy I am, and how being with you makes me feel."

Booth felt his heart twist with feeling and he grabbed her, pulling her up from the bed and tight against him, ravaging her mouth with his, pouring every ounce of feeling and regret into her. The last thin threads of sanity pulled him away and he only held her against him. Finally, after a long moment he released her and pressed a kiss to her brow.

"Goodnight Bones."

As he left she knew with certainty that she would remember every detail of what had happened tomorrow.

**A/N: The hilarious challenge was from the Live Journal community Booth Express, if you write fanfic you should try one of thier challenges, it's quite fun. The June challenge is still open, why don't you head over there and give it a try? Right after you write raving reviews about my literary genius of course ;)**


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